Culinary Delights

No tha ah'm religious or onything bit ah jist thoucht it a guid idea tae stairt sic a page as this wi a wee Scots grace called the :-

	Selkirk Grace
  
	Some hae meet an cannae eat 
 	An some hae nane, bit want it 
 	Bit we hae meet, an we can eat 
 	So let the Lord be Thankit.  

  
 Just a wee sumpin Tae Whet Yer Appetite 
    
 
Mayonaise
   
Ingredients  
   250ml of olive oil or light cooking oil  
   2 eggs   
   1tsp. malt vinegar  
   1tsp. lemon juice  
   1 level tsp. mustard powder  
   1 radish  
   1 clove garlic.  
  
Method : Finely chap radish and garlic, watch yer figers noo, an then separate wan o,
the eggs fae it's yoke place wan egg (oot o it's shell ye eejit)  an jist the yoke o'
the ither in bottom o' the beaker o' a haun blender or similar device, add salt and 
pepper tae suit yer thrapple, add mustard,   garlic, radish, vinegar, an lemon juice.  
Next carefully pour oil on top of eggs, then pittin the blender into the oil withoot 
touchin the egg, switch oan an plunge quickly up and doon in   the mixture a few times.  
Put in suitable container and keep cool till required, ah mean stick it in the fridge.  
Noo if ye want tae really swank it add some cream (airsole will dae) an mix it in afore  
ye serve it. An anither thing it really maks a tattie salad or wan o'  thae coleslaws 
sumpin else.  If yer taste buds are nae educated tae olive oil then ah hiv foon that 
Rape Seed oil or Sunflower oil maks a lighter an jist as tasty a dish.  Folks aye rave 
aboot ma mayonaise however ah mak it.

Heres's a tasty wee treat a jist threw thigither wan night cos Judy suggested a did sumpin wi

the 4 rashers o bacon we hud goin spare, an sum pasta. Well a thoucht why no gang the whole

hog an here's whit ah came up wi. It's ca'd whit it is no because o when ye eat it, mair because

o whit's in it.

Breakfast Pasta

Ingredients (Whit ye need) Mind thae quantities are per person

1 Sausage (jist an oardiairy everyday sausage nuthin speshul)

1 Slice o Lorne Sausage (opshunal)

1 Rasher o unsmoked middle Bacon

1 tomato

4 medium sized mushrooms

1 Hard Boiled egg

50 gms o Pasta twirls or shells

cookin oil or butter (if ye feel like livin dangerously)

Method (Whit ye dae) Boil up sum watter, enuch tae dae the pasta an while that's goin on bung the oil or butter in tae a fryin pan an heat it up, noo stick in the first five ingredients in order listed, gie them an occashonal shoogle aboot. When the watter is boilin, decant (That's tak oot tae the likes o you an me) some o the fluid frae the fryin pan intae it an the stick in the pasta. Boil the pasta fir 1/4 o a oor, gien it a guid steer aboot twice or thrice. Noo ye'll need tae boil yer eggs n aw, ye kin always stick em in wi the pasta, bit that means ye cannae stir it withoot damagin the eggs, so ye micht be better daen them in anither pan. Suit yersel. While aw this hus been goin on, an ye've been readin this, the stuff in the fryin pan is proabably ready so tak oot the meat, cut aff the rhind frae the bacon an discard it (as aw thae posh cooks say, we'll jist chuck it oot, or better still stuff it doon wir throats when naebody's lookin) noo cut up the meat intae wee bits an pit back in the pan oan a low heat (naw ye eejit, ah dinnae mean light an open fire in the middle o yer kitchen flair, ah mean turn doon the gas or electric) tae keep warm while ye drain an wash the pasta in mair bolin watter. Return the pasta tae low heat (in it's pan) an melt in a knob o butter (or some oil). Noo it's time tae add the stuff frae the fryin pan tae the pasta gien it a guid steer in. Last o aw shell an chap the eggs n add them tae mixture an walla ther ye huv it ......deeeeeeelishus. If ye want tae ye kin chill or freeze it tae microwave later, but ye mict need tae add some milk tae it as the pasta absoarbs aw the fluid an leaves it awfy dry.

Noo ah ken tha pastas arnae o particularly Scots ethnicity, bit there huv been an awfy loat o Italian immigrants whit huv broucht their qzeene wi them, an whit's mair there are an awfy loat o "original" Scots stuffin pasta n' pizza doon their thrapples like there's nae the morrow. Whit's mair us loat cud eat it till it wiz cumin oot wir ears.

Spaghetti Carbonara(or if ye like Bacon n' Egg Spaghetti)

Ingredients Mind thae quantities are per person

1 Rasher o unsmoked middle Bacon

1 Egg

60ml o single cream

1 Tbsp. o Ground Parmesan Cheese

50 gms o Dry Spaghetti

1 Tbsp. cookin oil or butter

Method Boil up sum watter, enuch tae dae the pasta an add the oil or butter. While that's goin on fry the bacon until it is jist stairtin tae crisp up, bit dinnae overdo it. Add the spaghetti tae the boilin watter an cook fir aboot 1/4 o an oor by which time it should be al dante (He's french ye ken). While the spaghetti is bubblin awa tak the bacon oot, cut aff the rhind, an dae whit ye like wi it. Noo cut the bacon intae 1/4 inch wide strips (or aboot 6mm tae ony coantinentals). Next beat up the eggs in a bowl. Yer spaghetti should be aboot ready while ye've been wuritin aboot, so drain it aff through a colander, then pour some mair boilin water ower it tae wash aff ony excess starch. Pit the spaghetti back in it's pan an melt a generous knob o butter through it, then add the chapped bacon followed by the beaten egg, keep stirrin this loat ower a low heat until the egg solidifies an then turn aff the gas, stir in the single cream an serve. Garnish each plate wi the parmesan, an whit ye huv here is nothin less than culinary Xtacy! wi a capital X. Trouble is ye never make enuch, it disappears doon the thrapple at a great rate o nots, an awbody aye wants mair. Ooh slurp yummy yummy!

Here's anither pasta dish ah'm pittin up at the instigation o ma Aunt Ena, Wha wants tae ken how ah mak ma Spaghetti Bolognese. Dead easy, that's how.

Spaghetti Bolognese

Ingredients This wan ought tae dae four fowk

Hauf a poon o mince

A bluidy big eye waterin ingin

A grany smith cookin apple

Twa Carrots

A quarter poon o mushrooms

A large tin o peeled chopped tomatoes

Three cloves o garlic (crushed)

Whole Bay Leaves (To taste)

1 Tbsp. Tomato Purree

Salt pepper mustard (also to taste)

Dried oregano

1 Tbsp. or so cookin oil

Method By now ye ought tae ken how tae cook the spaghetti an how much tae use per person, so while yer hob is gettin oan wi it ye kin be daen the bolognese sauce, like this:- pit yer crushed garlic intae sum oil heated up in a large fryin pan, gie it a wee shuftie aboot then add yer ingin, efter ye huv peeled, quartered an sliced each quarter up. Gie that anither shoogle aboot ower the heat then add the mince afore the garlic stairts tae broon aff, stir this aw aboot till aw the mince is brooned aff then stick in as mony Bay leaves as ye micht like (ah use 8). Lower the heat an cover the pan an let it simmer while ye chap up the carrots intae we quarter inch cubes. Raise the heat, add the carrots, gie it a guid steer aboot, pit the lid back oan an lower the heat again, while that's daen awa peel, core, an chap up the apple an bung it in the pan wi anither steer, let that simmer awa, while ye tak the stems aff the mushrooms gie them a wee wash if ye like, (the mushrooms, no the stems) chap them up as ye like an bung em in the fryin pan wi the rest. Whilst this is simmerin, drag a suitable bowl oot yer cupboard, open the tin o toms an whack them in the bowl, add salt n pepper to taste then sprikle hauf a tablespoon o mustard powder, an a tablespoon o the purree ower the top, lastly sprinkle the oregano oan top till ye huv a layer coverin the top o the bowl, mix this aw thigither an add it tae the rest in the pan, mix it aw thigither an leave tae simmer fir at least hauf a hoor gien it a steer every so often so it disnae stick tae the erse o the pan. When the spaghetti is as they say "al dante" drain it, wash it, an melt in sum butter, keep it warm. When ye serve it mak a nest o spaghetti aroon the plate a pit the bolognese intae the middle, sprinkle wi parmesan cheese tae taste, an the usin a fork an spoon wrap yer wally champers aroon that loat, sumpshus so it is. Aye ah nearly furgoat, mind an coont the bay leaves in an coont them oot afore ye serve cos they're no exactly digestible.

This is fur me the food o the gods. Fur years ah huv been experimentin tae find oot hoo ma ma's ma made her meatloaf, an ah think this is the closest ah'll ever get. Christmas 2000 ah hud maist o the faimily doon an ah stuffed wir 10lb turkey wi this, an usin dubble the quan titties stated here ah hud enuch left ower tae fill a 7" pan loaf tin.

Meatloafius Carnivorius(Meatloaf tae the unedumacated)

In greedy ents

1 Quarter poon o Beef

1 Quarter poon o Pork

1 Quarter poon o Lamb

1 Quarter poon o Ham

1 Quarter poon o Chicken

1 Quarter poon o Streaky Bacon

1 Quarter poon o Mushrooms

1 Large Onion

1 Tbsp. Dry Mustard Powder

Salt n Peppa too taste

1 Large Egg.

Method If ye huvnae goat access tae a mincer or similar device ye wud be well advised tae smile sweetly, an ask yer friendly neighbourhood butcher tae provide aw the meat in minced form, else yer goannae hae wan hell o a trochle daen it yersel. When ye huv goat that sorted, peel the onion, quarter it an stick it an the whole mushrooms through a mincer or food processor, otherwise ye will huv tae chop the onion an mushroom as finely as ye can. Noo bung aw the meat, the onion, mushrooms, mustard and condiments intae a big enuch bowl, beat up the egg an add that tae the clatch in the big bowl, roll up yer sleeves an get yer mits in aboot it, aye hae a guid guddle aboot in there mixin an squeezin aw the mixture thigither, it hus an almost sensual quality tae it, so it does. When yer quite satisfied that it's weel mixed through squeeze it aw intae the aforementioned an greased loaf tin an whack it intae a preheated oven fur wan an a quarter hoor at wan hunner an eighty degrees celcius. Serve it wi gravy, peas an totties, whack it intae sandwidges, or stuff it up a fowls bum afore cookin it. Whit ever ye dae ye will be in nirvana when ye eat ma grannies meatloaf.

Judy came up wi this wan a while back an ye micht think it an awfy odd mixture wi flavours whit dinnae gang thigither but ah kin assure yoos that it is an exquisite delight upon the pallete.

Trout a la Orange

Stuff yer gonnae need

Twa Troot (rainbow or broon)(Filitted)

4oz Mushrooms

3 Cloves Garlic (crushed)

1 Orange (squeezed)

1 Oven (fur tae cook it in)

Metal cooking foil fur tae wrap fish individually

Salt, Pepper, Butter

Method Squeeze aw the juice oot o an orange, an keep baith the pulp an the juice. Mix the pulp wi the garlic an butter an divide intae twa pit the paste intae each o the fillets. Pit the fish oan the foil, which ye huv greased wi sum butter, sprinkle hauf the orange juice ower the fish. pit sliced mushroom, aroon each o the fish, salt and pepper tae taste. Make a foil parcel fir each fish an pit them on a baking tray in a preheated oven (200degC) fir aboot hauf an hour. Tak them oot o the oven, unwrap an chuck oot the foil, pit oan tae plates beside some buttered new tatties and asparagus spears, and sprinkle the fish wi the rest o the orange. Noo there's noovel quezine fir ye.

If yer gonnae dae ony serious cookin ye'll need tae ken a few sauces an here's the maist basic o them aw.

White Sauce

Ye'll no need awfy much but patience

1 oz butter

1 heaped tablespoon cornflour

1 pint skimmed milk

Salt n Peppa tae taste.

Method Melt the butter in a saucepan, tak it aff the heat an blend in the cornflour until aw the cornflour is taken up, pit it back oan the gas ower a low heat an add the milk awfy slowly, steerin it aw the time When aw the milk is in keep steerin until sauce comes to the boil an as it does it will thicken. Noo if ye've goat it wrang yer sauce will be aw lumpy proabably coz ye stuck the milk in too fast or didnae steer it weel enuch. DON'T PANIC Nooadays, we huv the technology tae sort oot lumpy sauce, it's ca'd a haun blender, jist gie it a quick bash an aw yer lumps are gone. If ye huvnae goat wan o them ye kin aways squash the lumps wan at a time up agin the side o the pan, it kin be dun, AH KEN! It's awfy tedious. That's white sauce fir ye slow an easy, the basis fir a loat o ithers like cheese, onion, mustard, etc,etc

Here's a wee dish, ma wee dish Heather thought o richt oot the tap o her heid. So were gonna gie it a bash the morns nicht an well let yees aw ken whit it turned oot like, if we survive.

Bacon and Mushroom Tagliatelli

This amount will dae yees guid fur fower folk

8oz Tagliatelli

1 Tin o Campbells Mushroom soup

8oz Mushrooms

8 Rashers o Bacon

Some Chopped cooked chicken (This is opshonul ye ken)

Method Bring a pan o watter tae the boil. Pit yer Tagliatelli in yer pan and leave tae cook fur 10-15 mins, then drain aff the watter an add a guid dod o butter. Whilst this is happenin cook yer bacon wi a bit o olive oil in a fryin pan, but dinnae let it stick or gang crispy. Cut it up intae wee bits an bung it in wi the tagliatelli. Chap up yer mushrooms with a knife (Whit else) an gie them a wee bit fry, or as they say saute them.Then add tae Tagliatelli and bacon. Shak a little bit salt an pepper intae the mixture. Open yer mushroom soup an whack that in tae. Aboot noo wid be the richt time tae add yer chicken if yer gonnae otherwise pit the mixture ower a low heat until it's jist simmerin, gein it an occashanul stir so it disnae stick tae the erse o the pan. Serve up an stick doon yer thrapple. By Heather Sutherland.

Keep yer een peeled fir 4th.cummin attractions like

Tripe n ingins,

Proper Porrige,

Rose Marie Sauce,

Haggis Neeps n Mash,

Kedgeree,

Chicken Chaser,

Stovies, Hash,

Pork Paprika,

Stew n Suet Doughboys,

Poatted Heid,

Clootie Dumplin,

Spotted Dick,

Jam Roly Poly,

Hawain Chicken,

Macaroni Cheese,